Ok .. I made a post last night about the Superman Movie thinking I would not have time to write a new one today. Well I found something that needs to be shared so I am making the time.
In reviewing my logs this morning, I noticed someone found this site using the search term “Carol Hardin”. Comments on a post of mine a last week turned into a little joke about farm animals next to Carol Hardins house. Well this search term intriged me and I did a little research. It seems that this site now shows up on Google at #11 for the term “Carol Hardin”. This is out of 1,990,000 pages returned for the phrase.
For those of you who do not know who Carol Hardin is, she mother of the family we lived next door to when we “kids” still lived at home in Waverly. For one reason or another, that family has touched a number of people who are posting here. I’m note sure what happened to either of the girls, but I know David runs a successful business in Chillicothe. Annie and he are still friends. I’d be interested in his comments on the Legislated Morality topic.
It just goes to show, when you post on a blog run by a guy who does Search Engine Optimization for a living you never know where your comments will end up. One of the reasons I am wrting this post is to see if I can get on the first page on Google for the “Carol Hardin” term. :)
I wonder if Carol Hardin ever googles her own name? Now THAT would be funny. :-}
Just give me a week or two and I’ll be on the first page so she can see it for sure .. :)
will she find this page inparticular?
Most likely the page that will be listed will be this one. Having the phrase “Carol Harden” in the title will help it alot.
The link to the other page will help that one too … so you never know for sure. :)
To all who are interested, Mr. Hardin did die some years ago. David remains a wonderful person who is highly successful with his Primitives Store in Chillicothe. He is extremely talented as a decorator and business man. People I worked with at the VA talked about him and his shop. They didn’t know my connection with him and I didn’t tell them. They would have wanted me to get them a discount. Their house still looks “picture perfect” (or at least she thinks it does) and our old house is extremely trashy looking. Someone has even put up a privacy-type fence along here side of our carport. Why didn’t I think of that! The whole street looks even trashier than it did when we lived there. Her house sticks out like a “sore thumb.” That’s really the reverse of the way she meant it to be.
I never met Carol Hardin, or any of the Hardins for that matter. I lived on the other side of the block you know. The Good side, the one with Annie, Todd, and my self. (Not counting my brother in there, he played drums too.) For some reason David never did like me much, I never knew why. I remember he quit a job at the William Henry restaurant because I started to work there. I always thought he had me confused with someone els, because up until that point I did not even know who he was. That was my only encounter with the Hardin. I worked at the William Henry until it when belly up and I moved next door to Radio Shack. That had nothing to do with Carol Hardin, but I am looking for ways I can say Carol Hardin again.
So there you go that is all I know about the Hardins. Hope you make it to number one John..
PS: Carol Hardin
LOL .. Darren I guess I am going to have to teach you about “over-optimization”. :)
carol hardin was not one of my favorite people carol hardin was not nice to Carolyn Carcutt thats why I did not like them. Carol Hardin thought she was better than us. It was like she lived on Arlington Ave were all the good people lived. Carol Harding only wished she could live one the good street. Darren Carol Hardings son David did not like you because you are not his type. Oh did I mention Carol Harding was a mean person. Carol Harding was one of meanest people I ever met. I think that Carol Harding was a spy for the KGB during the cold war. Carol Harding was a very cold person. Thats all I have to say about Carol Harding
carol hardin was not one of my favorite people carol hardin was not nice to Carolyn Carcutt thats why I did not like them. Carol Hardin thought she was better than us. It was like she lived on Arlington Ave were all the good people lived. Carol Hardin only wished she could live one the good street. Darren Carol Hardins son David did not like you because you are not his type. Oh did I mention Carol Hardin was a mean person. Carol Hardin was one of meanest people I ever met. I think that Carol Hardin was a spy for the KGB during the cold war. Carol Hardin was a very cold person. Thats all I have to say about Carol Hardin.
Sorry I had to correct my spelling of Carol Hardin. I hpoe that it is spelled Carol Hardin. If it is not spelled Carol Hardin let me know and I will change the spelling of Carol Hardin and never spell Carol Hardin wrong again
I don’t think you are supposed to mention her name that much. Am I right john?
anyway, since we r venting….Carol Hardin and her kids made my child hood a living hell. How could a mother teach her children to be so vicious to another child and still live w/ herself? Beth Hardin is the one whom I had to deal with the most. what a bitch! Carol Hardin being the leader bitch I guess Beth couldn’t help it. David may be nice now, but back then , he was just as hatefull as the rest of the lot. And the two sisters, Doris and Denise the were just sluts. ( am I right guys?)
Thanks John, I feel much better knowing they might actually read this. =o)
AMEN!!! Sister that is my reason for not liking them ANY of them. David was always two faced to me. and the girls to be sooo unatractive and sooooo stuck up I just did not get it. and my feelings toward David have nothing to do with his well sexual orientatation one of my good freind sin collegde was Gay and he was nice person. Although in davids defense Southern Ohio would not be a great place to come out of the closet although I knew several still in the closet that would surprise you(they surprised me that is for sure!
Hello folks! I just discovered John’s blog because of Steve’s blog.
I arrived at this particualr topic via the Legislated Morality topic. A topic that is dead serious for me, and one that I agree with John and Steve about.
That said… I am not a big fan of Carol Harden either. However, she is my mother-in-law and I do care about her. She has mellowed somewhat over the years.
This very morning my loving wife and I had yet another conversation about the trauma of growing up on Beverly. If you think it was hell for you Jennifer, you should have tried living inside that house. Children will do many things in a vain attempt to get love, attention or even a snide comment from their parents. Much of what you experienced was at the hands of a clutch of children trying to get the approval of their mother. There is a book called “Toxic Parents” that barely begins to describe the environment.
Most of the kids are completely different people, now that they have moved on.
I’ll focus on the two I am closest with.
As Carolyn said (Hi, Carolyn!), David is a great person. He is kind and loving and really fun to be around. I am blessed and proud that I get to call him my brother. His talent is one of the things that his parents tried to squelch. He is more well known outside of Ohio than in his own hometown. Some of the area McDonald’s have some of his early work. Chillicothe and Circleville I think. He had to make the cleanest break from Beverly. Doris and I are the only Waverly family he can keep in touch with. To my knowledge he has not spoken to his mother since his father’s funeral. This is a good thing because David has detoxed well.
Doris is my life. It was very hard on her when I moved us all to the Chicago area because of my job. But it did allow her a chance to detox as well. She has told me I saved her from a living hell, and she still worries and frets over the person her family tried to make her into. She is not and has never been a slut. I am sure of that. I am sure that other people close to you, Jennifer and John, could be called sluts by people that do not know them well enough to make such characterizations. Doris speaks to her mother and can finally stand up to her and not care if there is approval or not. The greatest testament as to how wonderful a person Doris is can be seen in my three sons. They are kind, decent, intellegent young men. Doris raised them in a home that was as opposite to her childhood home as possible.
Be careful what you wish for Jennifer. While Carol does not have a computer nor is likely to anytime soon–Doris does. Doris is married to a computer programmer that finally found a way to get broadband in rural Pike County and set up a private hot-spot so that all five computers in his house can surf the web at the same time. She is the one that found Steve’s blog and showed it to me.
I just had to clear the air. People do change.
And Jennifer, I agree it is good to vent. I have personally found that it is best to do so politely, or privately. You never know when the husband of the girl that use to babysit you, may be reading what you write.
[…] For those who didnt see it, Deven responded to all the “words” about Carol Hardin. For those of you who dont know, He is married to Doris. :) […]
Jennifer,
I was thinking about you the other day and hoping you were doing well. For some reason, I was remembering us dressing up with your Miss Piggy paper doll accessories. I was wearing the crown in my hair when John brought some of his friends back to the house. It took a while to live that one down!
I can understand your opinions about my family. Mom was always watching the neighbors and making the worst assumptions about things. Guess what? She did it to her own kids, too. I think I got it the worst. And I learned early on not to fight those things, but just try to wait them out. So, I guess I did take a passive role when she seemed to be attacking your family. I am sorry about that, but it was so hard to defend anyone (including myself.) You need to know that I never disliked any of you or even really listened to what she said about you. I knew she was wrong about me (who she thought was doing all kinds of things) and about my older sister (who she thought was a perfect angel) so I just figured she was wrong about everyone else, too.
I know, too, that other people said things about me. I never figured out how those rumors started. Instead of fighting them, I decided to find them funny. After spending one entire weekend at home, I went to school to hear that I had gone to a party, got trashed, and slept with someone. To me, it was funny and, since it was pointless to protest (people always see that as proof that you need to hide something - “Methinks the lady doth protest too much.”) I just laughed at the rumors. I didn’t think the people that I cared about would believe them. Yes, that includes you, Jen; you were like a little sister. Although, considering your opinion of my little sister, you might not like that comparison. I cared about you and hated the wedge that Mom’s behavior put between our families.
Lord, we all better hope she never finds this blog! She won’t understand any of our opinions and will be hurt and want to strike back.
As for my own behavior back then, yes I did have a reputation, but it was unearned. I’m not ashamed of the things I did do and can’t be made to feel ashamed of the things I was rumored to have done. In my entire life, I have had sex with only 2 people and was incredibly in love with each of them. That’s a pretty good track record for someone who was a teen in the 80s! Also, while I did drink (wouldn’t you, if you had MY family?) the only drugs I was around were in other people’s hands. Also, not bad for an 80’s teen!
I am sorry Tod thought we were stuck up. A lot of that was shyness (I know I seemed outspoken, but it covered an intense shyness) and part was fear (if your own family hurts you, what’s going to happen when you interact with other people?)
I’m not harboring ill feelings about your posts. Your feelings are understandable and it probably did you good to vent. (And cheaper than the $80 an hour I had to pay a counselor to get over the same stuff. LOL!)
~ Doris
P.S. When I would babysit Jennifer, I would wish my mom could be more like Carolyn, John and Jen’s mom. Someone who listened to her kids without really interfering or trying to manage every little aspect of their lives. Someone able to have a life of her own instead of seeming to need to live through her kids. You guys were lucky!
Hi Doris .. Welcome to the site.
Thank you so much for that post. I is nice to hear intelligent thoughts on that whole situation from so long ago. I think that so much time has passed, that many of those posting here may not remember the details of what life was like back then, just the emotion involved.
Honestly, I don’t remember much of the detail myself, and I don’t have many emotions associated with the whole “feud”. I guess I am rather passive about the whole thing. I look back at it now and as an adult, I wonder how the hell anyone could have put up with all that drumming. :)
I don’t think I ever had much to do with Beth, she was closer to Jennifer’s age. I think I saw her at a wedding I shot many years later and we didn’t even say hi. You and David have always seemed to be the “normal” ones. (sorry, couldn’t think of any other way to say it) Out of respect for a couple of others who read and post here I won’t comment on your older sister. Honestly, I only remember your mother through listening to my mother complain about her. As for your Dad, I actually remember more of him than I do your mom, I remember being curious about his role in your family.
I applaud your ability to stay away from drugs and promiscuity, I am guessing your mom thought I was a Pot Head, and for a time that’s one thing she might have been right about. Annie actually was the catalyst that pulled me away from that path.
I am very glad to hear you and Deven are so happy and I hope both of you stick around here.
p.s. I am sure when mom reads your p.s. she will tear up … :)
John wrote: “Out of respect for a couple of others who read and post here I won’t comment on your older sister.”
I suspect my old friend is talking about me, so I’ll just say this: I promise not to go into a suicidal tailspin if someone mentions the “older sister” by name. That was all a long, long time ago. I’m not who I was then, and I doubt “older sister” is the same person she was then, too. I’m happy, and I hope she’s happy.
By the way, the name is “Denise.”
And she wasn’t a slut, Jen.
– Steve
John, I think I know what you mean about Annie being the catalyst. When Deven wrote “She has told me I saved her from a living hell, and she still worries and frets over the person her family tried to make her into” he is referring to the way I was starting to feel I might as well give in and live DOWN to my family’s expectations. And then he came into my life, loved me, accepted me, and even stood up to my mother. She was in full rant about what a bad person I was and he told her she didn’t really know me, then described the “me” he knew. It was a revelation to have someone believe in and support me. It let me start being the person I wanted to be. When you’re miserable and feeling alone in the world, you just can’t care about anything, including (or most especially?) yourself. When you have even one person that loves and accepts you, it changes everything.
By the way, I’m glad you and Annie found each other again and have been happy together. I would have said that years ago, but it’s hard to work something like that into casual conversation.
Doris: You know, it is kind of hard to work stuff like that into a casual conversation … and it really shouldn’t be. Why is it difficult to express something as simple as “I’m glad you two found each other?” But, being merely human, we manage to muck up the simplest things.
I dunno. Life’s weird.
Steve, No, it shouldn’t be that hard. A few years ago, the boys and I were discussing why it was hard to tell people things like that and we ended up conducting an experiment - for a week, we made a point of complimenting people or telling them a good thing about themselves. Try it sometime. Most people act like you are crazy. For some reason we, as a society, have gotten away from that behavior. So much so that we are astonished and suspicious when someone acts that way toward us.
Meant to add that I’m glad Steve and Gere found each other, too. I was afraid the “older sister” might have soured him on relationships. But Steve seems to be a good and happy husband and I couldn’t be happier that he’s finding fatherhood so rewarding!
Doris: Well, yeah, I was soured on relationships for a long time (as much my fault as Denise’s, though). That’s probably at least partially why I’ve got a five-year-old daughter and you and Dev have kids in college. But it all worked out … I’m 44, but I got to play with little plastic ponies and talk like a duck all afternoon. So … I’m doing good.
Steve: Now that I’d love to see! Deven may post, too, but right now he’s still laughing so hard that he can’t breathe.
Dev: Glad to give you a good laugh. And to answer your emailed question, it was Donald.
Seriously, though, I love playing with my kid. She’s very bright, very imaginative and just loads of fun. I’d probably be a whole lot better at doing my chores, mowing the lawn, etc., if Libby wasn’t such a blast.
Hello Guys, for those of you that do not remeber me I use to be Lesia Everhart, now Sagraves. Wow, was I so naive that I never seen things like that when hanging out with Denise and Doris (oops I said her name!!!) We all use to be very good friends in high school and if people thought that about them wonder what was said about me??? I for one no that neither one of the girls were sluts or into drugs. That is not who we were. I am really sorry that alot of you people never seem any of that family from the inside. I never had any problems with Carol, except for the night when the Car broke down on Fish & Game Rd and we were not suppose to be there. (lol) And as the GOOD friends they were they just about beat the crap out of me when I got into another car with a stranger to get help. David was not the person that others on here have depicted him as either, as I recall he never had anything bad to say about any of you. He was probably dealing with alot of identity issues back then and could not talk to anyone about it, especially his parents for fear of being rejected. And that my friends is so very wrong when you can not talk to your parents. Doug and I like Doris have 3 boys and some of the things we discuss and they tell me……….I wish I did not know (lol). Doris, I am so sorry that life was that bad for you, you hid it well because we were all together practically everyday. I know you struggled with alot of things, spent many of day in her room talking, including Denise. I know some of us that were involved with the Girls here have issues but I for one on the inside did not see them that way. As far as the slut comment……….don’t go there it is not true.
I will have to say some very interesting reading. This was and has always been an interesting circle of friends from dating each other to being neighbors. Can’t say I understand all that has been said not sure if I have seen all that has been posted. Doris you are lucky Deven is a great guy and it was great you guys got together. I am glad it has worked out for you 2. I do have my own thoughts about something I read that did bother me and I hope those evolved understand where I am coming from. The one thing I know for sure is that Doris wasn’t a slut and any one who suggests that really didn’t know her. One thing I have learned over the years we shouldn’t be casting too many stones for there are many things people can cast them about us. We have no right to judge anyone. If there is one thing that has happen over the years with me is I have become very opinionated about certain things and will speak my mind about them as well and this was one topic I felt I needed to voice my opinion and for those who know who I am will know I do know what I am talking about regarding this topic. Deven you and Doris need not to let what others think or say get to you, you are good people. I hope I wasn’t out of line voicing my opinion here.
Larry B.
Ok.
I am going to do this as calmly as I can.
I realize that you guys were at least 7 yrs ahead of me in school, so I cannot expect those of you who were not in the midst of it to know what was going on. I also realize because of how much older you were than me you did not witness the extent of what was happenening to me.
Let me start by saying that I made a statement above that seems to upset most of you. When people say things like that about other people it causes hurt. I know what that feels like to have things said about you that r nor true, so I should not have said it because It apparently wasn’t true. ( that was an appology)
I do however want to shed some light on what happened back then so that you don’t think I was just venting over some stupid events that occured back then. You first need to realize that it started when I was in 1st grade and continued on till about 8th grade when I got so fed up with all of it I went bezerk on the playground and demanded it was all going to stop. Quite the scene I am sure. I had reached my breaking point. By that time I had accquired some self defense mechanisms ( which I did not have in 1st grade).
I really don’t know where to start.
Imagine being that little again. Or your own children at that age. Having your name drug thru the mud all the way to school and back. Walking down your own street, or down that hall at North elem. and hearing your named called (altered as howeverly crude u can imagine) sometimes I did not understand the words they would come up with, but I knew they were not meant to be nice. The people who would yell names at me were not always children from school. sometimes they were the parents. Yelling from their own front porch.
Now imagine what it was like when children from school would tell me that they were not allowed to play w/ me. More specifically when I would ask why, they would openly admit that Beth Hardin’s mom told their mom to not let them.
Now I realize that this may sound very childish, but I was a small child when it happened. I became the one child in the area not to be seen with. At one point Children’s services was called to our house out of spite! How would you feel if you knew this was happening to your children. I am now grown with children of my own, and am constantly watching for such behavior from the children they go to school with. I do not socialize with my neighbors AT ALL. When I attend church, I go to one big enough and far away enough that if the church decides to turn against me and my family, we can leave that church and it not have any ill effects on our personal life.
So you see, I just did not vent my feeling about the situation above as I should have, I take ownership of that. Now I feel as if I have explained my feelings more in detail. I am an adult, althought it may not seem like it right now. I am far from perfect.
I did not know our neighboring children were living under those circumstances, and you all did not realize I was ostracized by an entire community because of it. There was alot more that happened than I have stated above, but I thought this would give you a good window into it. YOu may be asking why didn’t my mother do anything. My mother was raising 2 children on her own and I did not tell her how bad it was.
I thought I had pretty much gotten over all of it untill this. I, in fact have not. Depression aside, the paranoia is what I have to watch the most. Wound re-opened.
Doris, I would like to talk about this and not have to pay 80$ an hour. You can find my email on my blog if you would….mail me.
I guess, after thinking about all of this for the past cpl of weeks, that I realize that I am not as angry at anyone inparticular, just angry that none of you seemed to have cared what was happening to that small child. And for it to be happening HERE, just puts salt in the wound.
~Jennifer out
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I just read that as if i were you guys.
Carol Hardin was very much a huge influence in our community as far as the parents were concerned. They all cared very much what she thought about them for some reason.
Jen - I’m not mad & don’t blame you for what you wrote. I do know what it was like to grow up with that! And how deeply it can affect you. I wish there were a way to just erase all the bad input, but the truth is it takes hard work and lots of loving support. I’ve been lucky with Deven, our great sons, and truly wonderful friends. I hope you have a good support system, too. I will be in touch with you by email. If I don’t do it soon, please contact me at doris1@bright.net That address should work through the end of this month.
I just want everyone reading this thread to know not to blame Jen for what she wrote. We appreciate the support, but also understand where she’s coming from. Right now, she needs some support, also.
Hey, if all this leads to some reconciliation and healing, then that’s a good thing. I want to be clear, though, I wasn’t meaning to pile on Jen or belittle her experiences or anything. I just wanted to add my two cents on one particular statement. No hard feelings, Jen?
Jen and I are communicating off this site now, so something good has come of it.
I wasn’t trying to make anyone feel bad about what they’ve said. I really do appreciate what you all wrote. Thanks.
Okay - stress relief:
http://www.therightfoot.net/mystuff/whatever/swf/bubblewrap.swf